Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Thanks to all of you who participated in our annual Fruitcake of the Year contest. As many of you know, we aired sound bites of some of the nominees on Friday, December 23, 2005 when I filled in for Eileen Byrne (9-11 am), which was my last show of the year. Unfortunately, the time constraints of broadcasting being what they are, we weren’t able to hear from all the deserving candidates. So many crackpots, so little time.

We did hear from John Why-Should-Our-Troops-Terrorize-Women-and-Children-When-the-Iraqis-Can-Kerry, Howard Dean, Tom Cruise, Kanye West, Barbara Walters, Louis Farrakhan and the ultimate winner, our own Eddie Haskell, Sen. Richard Durbin. That “our troops are operating a gulag and acting like Nazis and Pol Pot” speech was a hands-down winner, beating out even the insane ravings of Dr. Cruise on anti-depressants and the bizarre stream of consciousness brain dump by Kanye. Why are we the only ones who notice the part where he talks about going shopping? That was the best part! And Barbara Walter’s with the Dalai Lama, rubbing noses and his giggling like Tiny Tim—now that was a contender!

For example, many of you had to be scratching your heads over our apparent omission of the following memorable goofballs of 2005:

CINDY SHEEHAN
She’s this year’s Lila Lipscomb and she was suggested by several listeners, including SL Vicky. If you’ve forgotten that very forgettable movie from 2004, “Fahrenheit 9/11,” Lila was that year’s mascot, a grieving mom used by the Round Mound Whose Lies Astound, Michael Moore. Speaking of him, he’s been awfully quiet lately. I wonder how that fat farm thing is going. But I digress …

We had pulled up a Cindy sound bite, but then didn’t have time to play it. It’s just as well. I don’t want to be responsible for broken glass all over the Chicagoland area.

ROBERT “SHEETS” BYRD
Another SL lamented my failure to include this old fool, but I didn’t fail to include him. We pulled up a crazy sound bite—the one with him reciting poetry about his rose garden.

BILL CLINTON
You’ve got to hand it to this guy. He can get his groupies to buy anything. Had we had time, we would have played his explanation of how tax cuts “deprived” him of helping out military veterans. This rant was as good as that insane rave out he unleashed on Peter Jennings last year.

ANDY ROONEY
This crabby geezer came up with a brilliant election reform idea, which we heard on the show on 11/6/05; that is, having an IQ test for voters. Oh yeah, because of course then democrats could finally win an election, right, Andy? Obviously, just like the way that Al Gore got an undergraduate degree at Yale and an MBA at Harvard, and that idiot, Chimpy McHitler, who Karl Rove stole the election for, flunked out of divinity school. No, wait, it was George W. Bush who got those degrees from those Ivy League schools and the Gorebot who flunked out. Never mind.

GARY BUSEY
Regular listeners to the show know my fondness for Celebrity Fit Club, so how could I leave out that crazy bite of actor/almost road kill Gary Busey and his “balancing my energies” comment? This is what happens when you wipe out on a motorcycle. He still makes more sense than Keith Olbermann, so apparently catching one’s head in a subway door causes more brain damage that getting peeled and having the whole head reconstructed.

I would also like to recognize the following dimwits as honorable mentions: Nancy Pelosi and her fellow bug-eyed girl, Jennifer Wilbanks, Bill Moyers, Chris Matthews and Jane Fonda. No doubt the new year will bring a whole new crop of nuts, as well as some fresh fodder from previous winners. I can’t wait to enjoy all their silly blathering with all of you.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Liberal Dems in Congress: Lower than Whale Poop, or The September 10 Party’s Strategy: Do Everything They Can to Insure Defeat, then Blame President Bush

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how low the democrats in Congress will go. Last month, when Rep. John Murtha (D-PA), taking his marching orders from Nancy Pelosi, did his best Abe Simpson impression, raving nearly incoherently about immediate withdrawal from Iraq and even invoking Chairman Mao (why do some democrats love communists so much?), I think everyone over the age of 6 could see the obvious. Despite their denials that they have a policy on Iraq—there’s a platform to run on, huh?--most recently on the day of the remarkable Iraqi election, they do, and it is as follows: encourage the enemy sufficiently to keep them hanging on long enough to ensure that the situation in Iraq is still dicey in 6 months, so they can jump up and scream “We told you so! Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld not only lied us into war. Having done so, they’ve botched it miserably. Fear not, elect us and we’ll fix everything.” It’s pathetic to watch the democrat leadership actively engage in treason. It’s disgusting to watch them exploit a distinguished veteran like Rep. Murtha, who it’s clear at 70+ years old wanted the president to pay him some tribute, sort of like your doddering grandfather who wants some credit for everything he’s done for all you ungrateful youngsters. (I’m sure if they had realized he was going to act like a high-maintenance girlfriend the White House folks would have just sent him some flowers and candy a few months ago.)

Most of all, it’s breathtaking to realize that when it comes to the liberal democrats, it’s even worse than that.

I refer to yesterday’s “stunning” and “extraordinary” story, to use the words the breathless members of the MSM used in describing the New York Times’ exclusive “Bush Secretly Lifted Some Limits on Spying in U.S. After 9/11, Officials Say,” by James Risen and Eric Licthblau. Apparently, this article is an excerpt from Mr. Risen’s new book, State of War: The Secret History of the C.I.A. and the Bush Administration, which conveniently comes out January 16, 2006. That’s convenient! Leaving that aside for now, I want to suggest a useful exercise for those of you with a few moments to spare. Print out the article. Then get a highlighter and highlight every instance where the authors cite an anonymous source. You will see in short order that this whole gust of hot air that has all the liberals so excited does not a single named source. Here we go again!
Let’s be generous (some would say naïve) and assume that these guys didn’t make most of this claptrap up. Am I supposed to be outraged that the President decided after 9/11 to actually listen to the phone conversations of people whose numbers were found on Abdul Mohammed Mohammed Akbar’s laptop that was captured in Afghanistan, even if those phone numbers are in Cleveland, Omaha or Phoenix? I’d be outraged if the government weren’t doing that, and so would most Americans with brains larger than the proverbial peas!

I am outraged over the leaking of this information, and unlike Wolf Blitzer, I’m not ready to give the Liberal Death Star any brownie points for holding the story for a year. Of course they held it! Not only because they hoped to help promote Mr. Risen’s book, but also because they and their democrat cohorts in the Congress needed to hold it in reserve to use for what they perceive as their maximum political advantage. And don’t even try to tell me I’m wrong because if they were trying to use it for political advantage, they would have leaked it before the 2004 election. The last thing that Lurch needed last year was more evidence that he and the dems wanted to put the ACLU in charge of helping us catch terrorists, and if he had started screaming about the Bush administration’s eavesdropping on terrorists and their friends, that’s exactly how it would have looked. No, better to get it on the front page the day after a huge victory for Pres. Bush’s visionary plan for Iraq and the day of the Patriot Act renewal vote in the Senate. Given the timing of this story, can there be any doubt that the democrats and the MSM are working in concert? I have absolutely no doubt but that this leak came from the Senate, and I call on the NSA to refer it to Justice for the appointment of a Special Prosecutor. Please make sure that he or she subpoenas Dick Durbin’s e-mail and phone records, as well as Patrick Leahy’s.

Somehow I think this leak about NSA surveillance is a greater threat to our national security than the leak of Valerie Plame’s identity. How in the world will we ever protect ourselves now that she’s left the CIA? But on the upside, she’ll have more time to pose for photos for Vanity Fair, maybe even with her media whore husband in tow.

Nearly everyone acknowledges that the Patriot Act has contributed to the happy fact that we haven’t suffered another 9/11 attack since 2001. So why would the democrats filibuster its extension? It’s time to face an appalling truth. The democrats in Congress are willing to sacrifice anything and everything to regain power, even the lives of Americans. I am sorry to have to say that they have decided on a truly contemptible strategy. Weaken our security, and when the inevitable attack does come, blame the President, confident that their allies in the MSM will conduct their usual Big-Lie style disinformation campaign to sell it to the public. Whale poop isn’t even as low as that.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Headline in Today’s Chicago Sun-Times

“House Panel OKs Bill Making Illegal Immigrants Criminals”

Am I missing something, or aren’t they already criminals?

Monday, December 05, 2005

YOU WON’T HEAR THIS ANYWHERE ELSE

On the Sunday, December 4, 2005 show we were lucky enough to have as our very special guest John Gibson, host of “The Big Story with John Gibson,” and author of the terrific new book, The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse Than You Thought. I’ve been a fan of John’s for sometime, so I looked forward to his visit to the show with great anticipation. I also have it on good authority from a personal friend who works for him now that John is a great guy. So naturally I was unprepared to hear him referred to as “The Worst Person in the World” Friday night on an MS-NBC show with nearly non-existent ratings. (Yes, it’s another one of those things I watch so you don’t have to.) Now, we’ve heard the host of this particular show say many idiotic things over the years, so I wasn’t exactly surprised. As we’ve noted on the air many times, he got his head caught in a subway door a few years ago, which explains a lot. We know it damaged his depth perception, and I’m genuinely concerned that it damaged his brain as well. John Gibson hadn’t seen the show—natch—no one other than me—oh, the sacrifices I make for the show--watches this compilation of leftist tripe culled from moonbat blogs and when I told him about it off the air, he said he’d talk about it on the air. That’s where he revealed that back in the day when he used to work with this poor head-damaged host with no viewers, he had to fill in with him for weeks. Why? Because this arrogant, pompous jerk couldn’t get out of the bathtub! Maybe if this host shared some of the stories of his dysfunctional life, someone would watch his show.

REMEMBER, OUR SHOW IS WHERE YOU HEAR ON SUNDAY WHAT THEY’LL BE TALKING ABOUT ON MONDAY: JENJIS KHAN RETURNS

Speaking of shows that no one watches, on yesterday’s show we heard sound bites from John Francois Kerry’s (aka Lurch) appearance on “Face the Nation,” including one that I absolutely appalling. Obviously I am not the only one who found this a jaw dropper because Rush led off his show with it, too, but you didn’t have to wait until Monday to hear it.

Schieffer: Let me shift to another point of view, and it comes from another Democrat, Joe Lieberman of Connecticut. He takes a very different view. He says basically we should stay because, he says, real progress is being made. He said this is a war between 27 million Iraqis' freedom and 10,000 terrorists. He says we're in a watershed transformation. What about that?
Kerry: Let me--I--first of all, there is so much more that unites Democrats than divides us. And Democrats have much more in common with each other than they do with George Bush's policy right now. Now Joe Lieberman, I believe, also voted for the resolution which said the president needs to make more clear what he's doing and set out benchmarks, and that the policy hasn't been working. We all believe him when you say, 'Stay the course.' That's the president's policy, which hasn't been changing, which is a policy of failure. I don't agree with that. But I think what we need to do is recognize what we all agree on, which is you've got to begin to set benchmarks for accomplishment. You've got to begin to transfer authority to the Iraqis.
And there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the--of--the historical customs, religious customs. Whether you like it or not--
Schieffer: Yeah.

Kerry: --Iraqis should be doing that.

As we noted on the air, obviously Sen. Kerry hasn’t changed since he performed as a first class useful idiot for our enemy back in 1971 at that phony “Winter Soldier” meeting cooked up by Jane Fonda and Mark Lane. Released POW’s revealed how his commie captors used Kerry’s statements against them, and his photo hangs in a place of honor in a North Vietnamese museum, and HE HASN’T CHANGED A BIT! Have you noticed how he and his fellow travelers Pelosi and Boxer are talking about “strike forces” that can hang around in the background and protect us if the terrorist threat rises up in Iraq? Check out statement from his infamous April, 1971 testimony to the Senate:

“I say that because so long as we have the kind of strike force we have, and I am not party to the secret statistics which you gentlemen have here, but as long as we have the ones which we of the public know we have, I think we have a strike force of such capability and I think we have a strike force simply in our Polaris submarines, in the 62 or some Polaris submarines, which are constantly roaming around under the sea. And I know as a Navy man that underwater detection is the hardest kind in the world, and they have not perfected it, that we have the ability to destroy the human race. Why do we have to, therefore, consider and keep considering threats?"

NOTE THAT WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CONSIDER THREATS, AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO WANTS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE WAR ON ISLAMOFASCISM?

"At any time that an actual threat is posed to this country or to the security and freedom I will be one of the first people to pick up a gun and defend it, but right now we are reacting with paranoia t this question of peace and the people taking over the world. I think if were are ever going to get down to the question of dropping those bombs most of us in my generation simply don't want to be alive afterwards because of the kind of world that it would be with mutations and the genetic probabilities of freaks and everything else."

MUTATIONS? IS THAT THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION "SEN. KERRY, WHY THE LONG FACE?"

"Therefore, I think it is ridiculous to assume we have to play this power game based on total warfare. I think there will be guerrilla wars and I think we must have a capability to fight those. And we may have to fight them somewhere based on legitimate threats, but we must learn, in this country, how to define those threats and that is what I would say to the question of world peace. I think it is bogus, totally artificial. There is no threat. The Communists are not about to take over our McDonald hamburger stands. [Laughter.]...”

JUST AS TODAY, HE GAVE AID AND COMFORT TO THE ENEMY AND TRIVIALIZED SERIOUS THREATS TO OUR NATIONAL SECURITY. AND THIS GUY EXPECTED US TO PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF KEEPING US SAFE? UNBELIEVABLE AND PATHETIC! I’VE GOT A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS; SPECIFICALLY, WHY ISN’T THIS STATEMENT GETTING MORE ATTENTION FROM THE MSM? AND SINCE KERRY SAYS IRAQIS SHOULD TERRORIZE WOMEN AND CHILDREN, IS HE SUGGESTING THAT WE RE-INSTALL SADDAM HUSSEIN?